Accept a Job
Our magnificent corporation is growing so fast that we need to hire new employees faster than possible! Local animals have been “recruited” to strap in a SHARD-compatible SUIT and join the supply (block)chain. Each of these adorable furballs (or whatever) has been hand-selected by BiG iNC™ engineers to perfectly SUIT your particular pre-scanned cognition patterns, as well as your height, weight, age, odor, favorite commercial jingle, and intelligence! Who doesn't love thumbs? Our Employees sure do! And with a SUIT and a proprietary replica of your very own cognitive thumbprint, they not only get thumbs - they have to use them! Get yourself a Job by trading in an Acceptance Letter, and a personalized Assignment will be selected for you!
Request New Job
When you request a New Job, you will be asked to select a current Employee to replace. By burning an additional General Acceptance Letter, you will then be assigned a new Employee, with new specifications. The previous employee will be discarded into our BiG iNC™ Employee Reclamation Mash-N-Grind® unit (which, we'll admit, has been on the fritz lately). But the metadata for your first attempt will be stored, and will be viewable, if you'd like to see how much potential you've just wasted. You monster. Also, we'll be keeping track of just how many employees you've thoughtlessly blown through. We encourage you to exchange each Acceptance Letter for a brand new, shiny employee, ready to work! BiG MiSTER is counting on you! Our company must grow! Don't disappoint him on your first day!